Not About Me

Being exhausted is extremely frustrating.

Frustrating to the point of crying over a broken fan.

Baah. (We were able to fix it last night)

So to be honest, it's been overwhelmingly hard these last 3 or so days.

Only this time, this time I'm turning to God. I finished reading the book of John. What stood out the most is how Jesus is light in the darkness.

And I can't help but think that despite how "dark" my days seem at times, it is when I turn to the light that things really do get a little brighter.

I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won't have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life (John 8:12).

Anyway, I got to thinking last night while I was sitting out in the rain. Yes. Sitting in the rain. There's just something about simply sitting down and having rain drops hitting you that gets your thoughts flowing.

Well, while I was sitting there, I realized that this isn't about me. It's not about how tired I am or how much I wish the fan worked. It's about the One who placed me where I am. And the more that I thought about it, the more I saw how important it was to surrender myself completely. But I mean, completely.

So it's not about what I do or not, it's about what Christ does through me.

My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me (Galatians 2:20).

So I have reason to be enthusiastic about all Christ Jesus has done through me in my service to God (Romans 15:17).

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Half an hour ago, we were having our team devotional time and Pastor Jaime prayed that God would reveal his heart and his will to us regarding everything that needs to be done in the next couple of days.

Aah. This has been my constant prayer for the last couple of months. And the more I ask God to show me...the more He does! I feel his peace, his passion to do the smallest things, even cleaning dentist chairs, and I feel his love for all those around me.

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Father, I pray that we all continue to seek your heart. May we be open to your will. We praise you for your light, and may we turn to it all the time. Remind us the importance of spending time in your Word despite all the chaos around us. May your will be done, Father.