Countdown Begins

In two weeks, I'll be waking up in Bogota.

In two weeks, I'll have to get used to showering with warm water again.

I'll have to get used to the hustle and bustle of the city.

No more naps after lunch.

No more mosquitos (which I've become immune to).

No more flipflops and board shorts.

Sigh. How bittersweet it will be.

This week we're getting ready for the annual medical brigade that is being held in a riverside community called Macedonia.

There 3 teams involved: US, Cali, and Bogota.

We will also have several police officers, doctors from Leticia, and many other people from different positions in government here come along for the week long brigade.

We leave the 24th (Sunday) and come back on the 29th (Friday).

Then I have 2 more days in the city that I've come to fall in love with.

Now, as we prepare the logistics for the brigade, CONFRATERNIDAD is taking place a few blocks from the YWAM base.

It is an event with one purpose: showing different cultural aspects of the 3 countries that come together in Leticia-- Brazil, Colombia, and Peru.

Political borders are forgotten as all come together to celebrate the unity of the three very different cultures.

BUT, it's not as sweet and nice as it sounds.

People come together to drink.

That's really what it's all about.

Leticia's youth takes advantage of the darkness night provides and the huge attracted by the event to go out and party like there's no tomorrow.

Tourists are known to come during this time of year for one reason alone: prostitutes.

It is during this time that prostitution rises up from being an "underground business" to something known by the tourists walking the streets of the city.

And the fights.

Fights to the death.

Fights encouraged by the alcohol in one's system.

They fight because they think their country is better.

They fight because they believe that Leticia should belong to their country.

They fight out of pure stupidity.

You know what scares me the most?

When in the middle of the night, you hear loud bangs from the corner of the street. One shot is enough to know that a drive-by has taken place. One shot is enough to get you on your knees and leads you to pray for protection like never before.

This is Confraternidad.

Borders may be forgotten.

But differences definitely aren't.

So I ask that you pray.

Pray for everything that is going on this very second and what will be taking place next week in Macedonia.

Pray for protection over the people in the festival...pray that the Lord gives them a clear mind, despite the alcohol, so that the choices they make aren't too influenced by the 20 something beers they drank.

Pray that the girls be kept safe. That God works in the hearts of the tourists and the locals and helps them see that their biggest desire is for Him alone. And that's the one desire they should really follow.

Pray that we keep our eyes on Jesus, in the midst of the chaos all around us.

Heavenly Father, You are good. May we fix our eyes on You like Moses did when he lead your people out of Egypt. Your Word shows that it was because he kept his eyes on You that he felt no fear. Be the center of our lives. Help us let go of everything else and hold on to You alone. May what we do and say be influenced by the love that we experience from You each and every day. Above all, Lord, may your will be done. Amen.

Different/Constant

We were called to be different.

To act different.

To be the difference.

But it is only after you decide to embrace your difference that you will shine a different light unto those around you.

How do you come to be different?

By reading God's Word. It will never fail to transform you...to make you different.

That's what I've doing a lot lately. Sumerging myself in the Word of God. Allowing it to reach parts of my heart that to me, were unreachable; allowing it to teach me things that I thought were incomprehensible; allowing it to change me, to mold me to be more like Jesus.

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Saturday night, I had the chance to talk to Viv Afanador for a couple of minutes.

Here in YWAM, you have many people around you that encourage you to seek the Lord more just by the way they act. But there isn't really ever enough time to sit down and share your heart with someone; to sit and just talk.

So the night that Viv called, I got the chance to share my heart with someone.

Man, how I needed it.

Things that I shared varied: serious things, funny stories, things that I've been having to face.

Despite the difference between these stories, one thing remained constant: Jesus.

I love the truth that I see when I look around me and see how everything is changing, how even I'm changing, but God remains the same today as He was yesterday and as He always will be.

Lord, continue to mold me; to transform me to be more like your Son.

May I see you as the true constant in the midst of a constantly changing world.

May we always remember that you are our portion.

May we always hope in your unceasing love.

Amen

Be Still

Medical brigade.
How exhausting it was.
How beautiful it was.
10 days in the jungle, moving from village to village to serve people. To give them more than just medicine; to hand them the Remedy.

There were so many circumstances in which God's glory was revealed.

A perfect starry night to start things off. The light given off by the stars accompanied by the sound of guitar strings filling the air.

Having us be in the exact place at the right time to help a woman in need. A woman who lost a baby but gained Jesus.

Yet, there were moments that I just couldn't do it anymore.
I strongly disliked having days where I couldn't move because of a headache.
Days that I couldn't use my right hand because of a spider bite.
Days where I physically had nothing else to give.

But it was those days that I can now see how we should be still and just know that God is.

Today, I got back from a community about 3 hours away from Leticia by boat. I went with 2 other girls that will be helping out at the base until Sunday.
After taking charge in the kitchen, I knew that I was doing way too many things.
Running from one side of the community to be with the kids while the rice was cooking and then having to run back to the kitchen so it wouldn't burn.
There was way too much on my plate.
As I hopped up onto the kitchen (it was elevated a couple of feet), the board I landed on broke, causing my right leg to go straight through, leaving my knee with cuts and bruises.
At the moment, I can't walk without it hurting.
Want me to bend my knee?
My eyes will water from the pain.

I had to sit down and let others work too.
I had no other choice but be still.
I had no other choice but open my heart to the lesson God has been trying to teach me for so long.

And as hyperactive as I am, sitting still is quite hard.
Yet, I know that learning how to let God just be is extremely crucial.

As I sat down instead of making lunch today, a breeze brushed my face and I heard the slightest whisper: "Be still, Beloved."

At that moment, I knew. I knew that God was, is, and is yet to come.
I knew that His being didn't depend on what I did or didn't do.
He just IS.

Be still and know that I am God.
Psalm 46:10

And Off We Go

Over 2,000 people waiting to be listened to; to be handed some medicine for their dying babies; to be handed the Remedy.

5 different teams are coming together: Canada, USA, Bogota, Medellin, Mexico. Coming together for one purpose: bringing glory to the Lord.

We will be going to an area along the river that is 12 hours away by boat to serve people in need.
We'll be there for 10 days, setting up a medical brigade.

The actual medical part of it all will be going on for 7 hours in a day.


Pray for us.
Pray that our hearts be open to what the Holy Spirit wants us to do.
Pray that our hearts be sensitive, not only to the people's physical needs, but also their spiritual needs.
Pray for our protection, for we will be near many witch doctors that constantly curse those who go help the people around them.
Pray that people know Christ because of the love that we show.

Letting Go Gives a Better Grip

Last night we had some teenagers from Barrio Aguila come over to the base to watch a movie, Cicatrices. It talked about the reality of having an abusing husband. It was pretty intense and the kids responded to it very well. They had a lot to say about the issue.

I never read the book of Nehemia.

Until last night.

You see, I've been feeling extremely exhausted lately. Exhausted to the point of wanting to go home now. And I mean NOW.

But reading Nehemia, I was reminded of something.

His strength is made perfect in my weaknes.

When I am weak, then I am strong.

So reading Nehemiah, a man who was beaten down by negative thoughts and words, a man who was just simply fed up, I was encouraged. Why? Because all he did was pray. He turned to the One who gives strength.

"They were all trying to frighten us, thinking, 'There hands will get too weak for the work, and it will not be completed.' But I prayed, 'Now strengthen my hands'"

(Nehemiah 6:9).

I felt encouraged; encouraged to do the exact same thing. Encouraged to say, "My mind wants to quit, but my heart is hanging on. Take my hands and don't let go. I'm refusing to let go of you."

I prayed. I prayed that God would hold on to me tightly, establish my grip, and encourage me as I continue to hold on to Him.

Not About Me

Being exhausted is extremely frustrating.

Frustrating to the point of crying over a broken fan.

Baah. (We were able to fix it last night)

So to be honest, it's been overwhelmingly hard these last 3 or so days.

Only this time, this time I'm turning to God. I finished reading the book of John. What stood out the most is how Jesus is light in the darkness.

And I can't help but think that despite how "dark" my days seem at times, it is when I turn to the light that things really do get a little brighter.

I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won't have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life (John 8:12).

Anyway, I got to thinking last night while I was sitting out in the rain. Yes. Sitting in the rain. There's just something about simply sitting down and having rain drops hitting you that gets your thoughts flowing.

Well, while I was sitting there, I realized that this isn't about me. It's not about how tired I am or how much I wish the fan worked. It's about the One who placed me where I am. And the more that I thought about it, the more I saw how important it was to surrender myself completely. But I mean, completely.

So it's not about what I do or not, it's about what Christ does through me.

My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me (Galatians 2:20).

So I have reason to be enthusiastic about all Christ Jesus has done through me in my service to God (Romans 15:17).

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Half an hour ago, we were having our team devotional time and Pastor Jaime prayed that God would reveal his heart and his will to us regarding everything that needs to be done in the next couple of days.

Aah. This has been my constant prayer for the last couple of months. And the more I ask God to show me...the more He does! I feel his peace, his passion to do the smallest things, even cleaning dentist chairs, and I feel his love for all those around me.

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Father, I pray that we all continue to seek your heart. May we be open to your will. We praise you for your light, and may we turn to it all the time. Remind us the importance of spending time in your Word despite all the chaos around us. May your will be done, Father.

One Big Happy Family

The feeling of community here is amazing.

We eat together, laugh together, play together, pray together.

Everything we do is focused on how it affects other people.

Last night, was beautiful.

Going to bed at 11...well, you feel it when you have to wake up at 5 (we're not going to the river today..some issues came up).

But I don't think I've laughed that much in a very long time.

Anyway, this post will be a short, as I am here to ask for a favor.

I ask that you pray for all the people and families that have decieded to come together and complete JUCUM.

Their hearts are amazing. They received me with arms opened wide, and I am forever thankful.

They allowed me to feel loved last night, they let me be a part of their family.

And they will forever be part of mine.

The Heart Breaking Makes a Sound

Waking up at 7:30 was amazing.

Early, but still a blessing to be able to sleep 2 more hours.

Pastor Jaime got here last night and he asked if I wanted to cook breakfast with him. I gladly accepted.

...That was because I didn't know that it meant that I would be doing the cooking while he went out to buy the bread. Hmm. I enjoyed it, nonetheless.

The clock struck 10 and off we went to Barrio Aguila.

This little barrio isn't exactly a barrio. It's made up of houses on stilts to keep homes from flooding. It has 2 abandoned house where the drugaddicts sleep and get high. As we were walking down the "UNDERCONSTRUCTION" sign on the street, Monica says, "Hmm. I've never seen women at the house before. I wonder how hard she fought to keep them from stabbing her with the needle." My heart started to break.

Once we went down the street, literally down, pavement ends.

Now, we're not talking muddy streets. NO. We're not even talking about a stable bridge. We're talking random pieces of wood nailed to one another which hung over the river. Muddy waters filled with trash, Diana-eating fish, and God knows what else.

This bridge is about 2 kilometers long; constructed by the people that make up the invasion because the government doesn't provide the materials or the workers to construct a more stable bridge. To the government...Barrio Aguila might at else not exist.

There had to be about 40 kids running around, and that's not counting the ones that stayed at home (obviously). I was introduced to the teenagers, whom I will have the priveledge to hang out with in the coming weeks.

When we were about to pray, out of nowhere, this little girls runs up to me and gives me bone crushing hug. I look down and realize that it's a girl that goes to afternoon program in the orphanage I volunteered at last Summer. Man, did I miss that little girl.

(She said to send kisses to all my American friends, meaning, all the people at ECA)

As each day goes by, I realize how blessed I am.

I am blessed because I have all these material things.

And then I see the blessings that can truly change a life: parents that love me unconditionally and support me in all I do (even if that means being away from home for 2 months), friends that love me and stand by me, and a God who knows everything about me, and still sent Jesus to die for me.

God has blessed me with many things, but I'm starting to embrace the biggest blessing of all: JESUS.

And it's this blessing that I've had the honor to share with those around me every day. And my heart breaks when someone rejects a life changing blessing.

The heart breaking makes a sound
I never knew could be
So beautiful and loud

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Tomorrow I will be going to Zaragoza with the pastors here. There is an issue that needs to be taken care of regarding the Christian community there.

They need someone who can help looking after the kids while they talk to people.

Pray that their hearts be open.

Pray that their hearts and eyes be opened to the truth.

And pray that their hearts be opened to what God wants to do in them and through them.

Born to be Wild

Picture me.
Now picture a motorcycle.
Now picture me on a motorcycle.
And picture Monica yelling while I drive.
...that was my day yesterday.
...I LOVED IT.

At night,I had the chance to talk to Monica about many, well...questions about God.
We were outside and the stars...man! Those stars seem to get more beautiful as each day goes by.

Regardless of the multitude that I bombarded Monica with, she answered with patience. PATIENCE.

Something that I still lack...for myself.

But they way she answered, the way that she let me babble like a baboon and LISTENED.

Right there and then, I knew for a fact that God will do the same. That He is the perfect listener, the perfect "patience show-er". That He is PERFECT. Despite the fact that I've allowed my relationship with the Lord be led by my emotions, which in all honest, are a rollercoaster, He remains constant.

After this 2 hour conversation with Monica, I went to my room to read The Discipline of Grace. And I'd like to share a little quote with you:

Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace.

Lord, may we see our need of your grace each and every day. May we embrace that need completely and seek you for satisfaction. May we be truthseeker, constantly in your Word. And may all we do be encouraged by your love. We give you all the glory.

A Whisper in the Midst of Chaos

Yesterday morning I asked Monica how you can get to the point of hearing God speak.

She said that there are many ways that the Lord speaks, it might be by using others, dreams, the Word. She also mentioned nature.

Creation proclaims the glory of it's creator

And I realized that by seeking our Creator more, we learn to see creation differently.

We begin to appreciate the small raindrop that hit you in the face.

The sunset marking the end of the day and the sunrise that reminds us that His mercies are new every morning.

You might even appreciate mosquitos...I've yet to get to that point.

You see everything that was created by Him differently...including yourself.

The majesty of creation is a whisper in the midst of the chaos that surrounds it...it is a reminder of HIS majesty and power. A reminder that He is truly Almighty.

I believe that in order to see the beauty that lies beyond the world's lies, our hearts are meant to be changed...meant to be traded for the heart that knew no lies, no hate, and no grudge.

The heart that only knew beauty, love and compassion. The heart that knew that it's burden must be covered by the shadow of the cross.

Father, reveal YOUR heart to me.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Cloudy night last night because of the insane storm that took place yesterday afternoon...as I took a 10 minute nap.

And all it took was a single prayer for the clouds to move a reveal a single star.

A single star, up above the world so high...like a diamond in the sky.

And right there and then...I know God was with me.

I knew that He was burning bright in my heart, as the star was burning bright in the sky.

This morning Monica and I mopped and swept that base floors.

And I started to think about my parents.

(yes...cleaning makes me think of my parents)

And I started thinking about how blessed I am. They are the two people who are biologically programmed to love me...and yet, I know for a fact that their love goes beyond that. Their love is not based on that. If it were, they wouldn't be the ones that make me food every day or keep the house clean so I'm comfortable...

I love my parents...and I wouldn't change them for the world.

Along with God..they are the people that burn bright in the midst of my cloudy days to show me and remind me that I'm not alone.

Your word is a lamp to guide my feet
and a light for my path.

Psalm 119:105

Getting Things in Order

Well, I'm in the Amazon once again.

YAY!

I got here yesterday...and had to go through a whoooole walkthrough of what life in Jucum is like.

Gotta get up every day at 6.

Breakfast at 7.

Prayer meeting at 7:30.

And then...work.

At the moment, we have to organize suitcases full of medicine as well as clean the house almost every day so things are in order for when the teams start getting here.

I won't be doing a lot of translating...most of the teams speak spanish. But I will be going to communities for weeks at a time to help with the medical brigade, cook, or just be a helping hand whever it's needed.

The day ended around 5:45 pm and I had the chance to take a nap while Monica (my "boss") went to English class.

...I slept for 15 minutes and read for the other 2 hours that I had.

In the time...especially while I was getting ready for bed, I starting thinking about all the things that I had to get in order.

I'm not talking about medicine or beds and bathrooms...I'm talking about things in my heart.

As of late...I've been having this strange feeling...that something was going to happen.

I've yet to figure out if it's good or bad...but I know for a fact that it will stretch me beyond anything I can imagine.

I called my parents to say goodnight and was ready to sleep...and yet, I couldn't. I couldn't fall asleep because of this...feeling.

Then the armor of God popped into my head. I HAD to read it. I HAD to pray. I HAD to seek God to feel okay.

You see, lately, my emotions have been a complete mess. It either has to do with the future, with the present, with my friendships, with my dreams, with absolutely EVERYTHING.

Having that time with God, well, more like NEEDING that time with God showed me how I've been letting my emotions guide me for the past couple of..well..months.

I need God.

Not emotions.

I need His heart to guide me.

Not following my own.

And I need His strength.

Because He's already breaking me.

And you know what?

It's BEAUTIFUL.